Pushing down

I understand now. I understand that under all this pain and shame lies an eccentric person. In my meetings with people I have learned that I am not the only one. Society tells us that being different is bad. That dancing in public or purple and orange do not go together. After some time of being sober I realized I am different as with a lot of the addicts and recovering addicts I work with. We are what society calls eccentric.Very creative. A lot of eccentrics are musicians, poetry writers. We are the ones wearing the bright colors. We are the ones who wear the different shoes that no one else would wear. We dare to dance on the outside of the lines. Today I love being me. But it came with a cost. If you have been reading my blog I do not need to explain. Eccentric : Unconventional and slightly strange. This is the definition for us. We think differently. We have different methods to our madness. But with this, growing up it is very hard to fit in. Pushing down our true selves becomes a job. Being in school with kids and being different do not go well. When we were little it was great to have such a big imagination. But when we hit 5th grade and up we have to blend in. Its evident that addiction goes hand in hand with those of us whom are different. When we use it pushes down our true self. There is a numbing of all nerve endings in our bodies. When the numbing occurs then it is very easy for us to no longer know where we stand. If we do not know where we stand or we no longer have boundaries. We adapt to someone Else's boundaries. I think once we use for such a period of time.

 We become empty of all our love for things. Like music, writing and poetry. Once those things are seemingly lost. It takes a massive amount of work and time to get it back. Even to the point that we have to search for what used to make us happy and content. Most eccentrics struggle badly with the mundane routine of get up go to work and do the same thing everyday. But this is what society tells us we have to be in order to be a positive part of society. But do you know it was the eccentrics that paved the way for us today? Albert Einstein, Abraham Lincoln, Beethoven, Mozart, Martin Luther King. All these people in history made an impact in history because they thought differently. I think teaching and helping people know and understand that it is okay to be different. It is okay to have so much passion. Passion a lost emotion. All the passion we had as children. The intensity of that passion. That is what we lose when we use. Pushing down the real us to fit in to a mundane world. Until next time my friends.