a little peek

I was very hesitant on whether to share this or not but I need to. There was a situation that happened when I was 11 years old actually there was a couple things that were really bad that happened in a matter of a month to me. One of them I will probably not speak of. But this situation was life changing for me. If you have been reading my blog you know that my dad was everything to me. Well when I was little every summer I was sent to a family member to stay the whole summer. It was a huge home. There was a beauty salon that smelled like old perms downstairs. And there were the seats that spin all the way around. I used to love spinning in those chairs. In the side yard there was this steep hill with a huge area. I remember being over there and hearing the sound that was loud but yet soothing. I looked up and the whole side yard was literally covered with dragonflies. They had to be in the thousands. I was in awe and scared at the same time. They were all hovering over the whole yard. I took off running down the hill and under all those dragonflies.  Such beautiful creatures. This was the place and the time that probably the biggest secret of all was told to me. I was 10 going on 11. The lady that I was with always made me hot chocolate with marshmallows. I was in the kitchen drinking my hot chocolate and coloring. The phone rang, I answered the man on the other end said "Misty?" I said you have the wrong number and hung up. The phone rang again. I let the lady get it. A couple of minutes went by and the lady came around the corner and she had no color in her face. She asked me to sit down there was something she needed to tell me. She said the man that just called is your father. I said "he asked for Misty and that is not my dad" She said "you are Misty and that was your dad." So the situation was explained to me. At 3 years old I was adopted by a man and they had completely changed my name. I was to never find out. I really don't want to go into detail. But as I told you my dad or who I thought was my daddy was not. My name Doni was not my name. All I can say is I was born to a different man with the name Misty. For some reason, I think because I felt like I was completely lost in who was. A name is a big deal. Then I realized how many people were in on the "Big lie". I'm not quite sure why I just wasn't told from the time I could of understood so maybe the blow of finding out that way would not have been so devastating. A complete loss of identity and of course wondering what else had been a lie in my life. This is a delicate situation. So without hurting any ones feelings because it happened and there is nothing I can do about it. I can tell you that there was a DNA test done about 5 years ago. The man on the phone is my real father. And my name was really Misty Lee Ann. I tried to go to the courts to see the birth certificate. But it is sealed and if I had money and went in front of the judge. They could open it. But I just have to okay and accept the fact that I am Doni Jo. Of course now I have no dad. Just because of situations Ill explain later. Maybe. Until next time my friends.